Its been a rather very long and lazy day. Given the fact that my "day" began at 1 in the afternoon, I was unusually lethargic to do anything; and given my circumstances, taking a day off could prove devastating for me.The lousy overclouded weather did not help either. But who the hell cares, I was too exhausted by the insomnia last night and decided to take the day off.  My plans to visit the library were ruined by the prospective rains, leaving me no choice but to while away my time with my playlist and a few ASIC books. I made sure I didn't strain myself;  the plausibility of a another headache is the least I was wanted. As time passes by, I don't know for what reason precisely, but I have started growing skeptical about my plans; whether I'll be able to make it or not. Its not that there s any kind of pressure on me, but I m just feeling so unsure about myself right now. I know all of this sounds crazy, given the fact that there many opportunities waiting for me, but i guess its just normal to have cold feet right before the anticipated moment. I pray things turn to be just fine and I live to tell the tale...
Its good to know that my friends have begun their new journey in the professional IT world. It was nice to hear from Gauti this morning. I wish him all the best in all his endeavors in life!

Its eight of August, the day for which I normally wait with loads of anticipation coz its dad's birthday. To double the celebrations, I became an uncle today. My dearest Di gave birth to the cutest ever baby today morning. They say that if people around you are happy, its not for long that you can be overshadowed with grief and disappointment; and that is exactly how things are turning out to be. Saw back to back live concerts of Linkin Park; it was simply amazing. Many songs have memories attached to them and listening to them takes you back to those good old days.

One of my friends, N.L., keeps asking me why I blog? Well here s her answer..I just want something in black and white to remind of the times when I have been down, about the struggle I've done and most importantly to remind myself of the wonderful people I have in my life. Life is a journey and its always good to maintain a log.


Headache o headache please go away,
Headache o headache don’t sweep my mind astray.
Too many pills to this hour I have popped,
But the acute pain hasn’t yet dropped.
Combi and disprin do me no good,
If I cud invent a new drug I’m sure I would.
Cricket and music please me no more
Even books and playstation seem such a bore.
I feel dizzy but I cant sleep,
I feel overburdened with emotions but I cant weep.
Even the pleasant rains seem annoying,
The semi completed love story seems cloying.
I wana go for a walk while it still drizzles,
But every time I step otta the bed my mind twizzles.
You’ve turned my day into such a waste,
Theres still a pudding in the fridge I dare not taste.
Headache o headache please go away,
Headache o headache don’t sweep my mind astray.

No better way to put it in words how i feel now....tomorrow shall be a new beginning!!!

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em

We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear.

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control....

Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go...

I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last,
I wish it wasn't so...

I know what it takes to move on,
I know how it feels to lie,
All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And i don't even know what kind of things I've said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending Is starting again!!

All I wanna do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what i haven't got...

This is not the end
This is not the beginning,
Just a voice like a riot
Rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone
And the violet rhythm
Though the words sound steady
Something empty's within 'em


We say Yeah!
With fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something
That's invisible there,
'Cause we're living at the mercy of
The pain and the fear
Until we dead it, Forget it,
Let it all disappear

 


Well in response to one of my previous posts, one of my friends and critic A.S. said that I keep rambling about break ups and the agony associated with it. She suggested that for a change I write about something on the contrary, about how beautiful love is. Had she asked me to do it some 3 years back, I would have described it in the best way possible, but at this point of time, when going down memory lane would mean scraping unhealed wounds and putting myself through the plethora of pains and joys I have been through, I wouldn't dare venture knowingly into that direction. All relations leave back a trail of reminiscence, a bloody path which when retraced, takes you through the journey of grief, making it even more profound. Although time is the best healing factor, some wounds just don't heal, no matter how hard you try. And although there is no logic behind it, I have a feeling that I am blessed, for the wonderful parents I have, for the friends who stand by me through all ups and downs, for the fact that every time I'm depressed, I find some or the other reason to smile and keep going on.....

Gosh!!!Its been a long time since I posted, but I guess I was rather too busy traveling and giving interviews to do any creative stuff lately. First was the ordeal named IIM-K, scheduled on the16th at Dadar, Mumbai. The essay writing section was rather abstract; on the topic "One of the most important characteristics of the modern era is a permanent state of mind marked by violent peace". In the 30 minutes provided I could jot down about 2.5 sides of the A4 sized sheet provided, managing to bring up the issues of democracy and Jasmine revolution in the contemporary context. All in all, an average performance. Then was the time for the dreaded PI. I was the first candidate in the 3rd panel, so didn't get much time to find out what was been asked, which in a way didn't really matter, coz they were asking random questions.There were two panelists; one a prof from IIM-K and other as I found out later from an SVNIT senior was there in other interviews as well and was rather a very "khadus" kindda person. The interview went on for about 30 minutes, in which i was asked every possible question, right from why MBA to finance to GK. The IIM prof was kindda sweet and soft spoken while the other kept cutting my answers in between and firing questions continuously. On the whole, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Results are expected to be out by first week of May. Keeping my fingers crossed, lets see what happens.....





General provisions:
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

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An engineer by intellect, introvert by nature, gamer by passion. With aspirations in heart and a song on my lips, I traverse through this journey called life; meeting people along the way and having my own vantage point about the events that transpire. I wish to believe that the world is full of idiosyncrasies and imperfections and I just try to make the world better in the best way I can and if not then at least to create a perspective that makes things seem tolerable.

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